Friday, September 28, 2012

In Which I Give Myself a Pep Talk

I've heard that other people have deep thoughts and solve perplexing issues in the shower or while they are out running. Me? Not so much.

My thoughts on my two-miler this morning included (but were not limited to): I wonder if I'm smart enough to go back to school for a graduate degree or if being a mom has decayed my brain--Maybe I've had one too many bowls of sugar frosted cocoa bombs for breakfast and watched one too many episodes of Go Diego Go and have passed the point of no return; I don't like text speak like LOL and OMG.  I especially don't love it when people use these phrases in actual spoken conversation. In future generations will people just say "omg" in conversation like it's a word instead of an acronym (as opposed to saying each individual letter: O.M.G.)? I realize that people say "Scuba" not "SCUBA and "laser" not "LASER" and I'm totally fine with that, but if people start saying "omg" then I greatly fear for the English language; the banana bread bars with browned butter frosting that I made yesterday are beyond delicious and it is going to take all my willpower to not eat the rest of the pan while the boys are at school today. So much for the two miles. 

The shower was much the same: My body wash smells like Hawaiian punch. I'm not sure that I like smelling like a vaguely fruity, kids' birthday party beverage; Meteorologists are useful but we won't need them in heaven because the weather will always be perfect; If I hurry, I'll have time to run to the library really quick before the bus comes; the boys are out of soap in their bathroom; mmmm--browned butter frosting.

Profound, eh?

My friend Stephanie started blogging recently. I really like her honesty and she's a good writer so win/win. Her post titled "Write it Down: I'm Gonna Live Forever" seemed to echo another of the thoughts I had while sweat was dripping in my eyes this morning--what do I want to do with my life? How do I figure it out? Am I going to be content to do laundry and make cutesy crafts (don't get me wrong--I love crafts and I love cute, but just sayin') for the rest of my mortal existence? I don't think so.

So anyway, I get where Stephanie is coming from about wanting to see her name in lights. Though for me, I think it's not so much about fame but more about a desire to feel like what I am doing is important and worthwhile, great and noble. But also I want validation. I want to live up to my potential be my true self and know that I am doing the best I can and that it is good enough.

I think at some point or another many of us question how special we are. We think: Eh--I'm just me. I'm not really important. What I'm trying to do doesn't really matter; but we are important and our efforts to improve ourselves and bless the lives of others do matter. They matter to our families, our friends and neighbors--even occasionally to strangers. They matter to God.

I've shared this before but good quotes bear repeating:
I don't always approach the humble tasks assigned to me with joy. I think often a change in attitude is what elevates the humble to the noble.

How do we find fulfillment in the humble and mundane? I don't know for sure but I have a theory: 1.) It's about balance. We have to balance work and play, service and rest, hobbies and duties. Unfortunately I'm not great at this part. 2) Mundane work is necessary but if we look for ways to be grateful and to fill our life with beauty then that will kind of act as the spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. So, if you have to mop the kitchen floor put on some uplifting music and open the windows to get a delicious breeze blowing through the kitchen--you know, that sort of thing. I think I'm marginally better at this part.

Someone told my mom once, "Everything you touch is beautiful." I want my life to be that kind of example. I want to look around me and see beauty and goodness; I want to create beauty where there is little or none and I want to share it with others. I want to live in thanksgiving daily so that I don't miss out on any of the lovely things that bless my life every hour of every day. I want to be truly, sincerely good. I don't ever want to forget what's really important.

If I can do all that I think I'll find more meaning, purpose and direction. I can't expect to achieve all my goals or fulfill my life's mission by next Wednesday, but the path looks bright when you are walking in the right direction.
Plus, there are banana bread bars in the kitchen, so there's that too.


Tanya H said...

Excellent thoughts. Love the happy yellow sign, and the wonderful quote.
You wrote this on Friday but it sounds like the thoughts swirling thru my head thanks to Saturday's broadcast. :) Also it fits perfectly with a coversation I had with a friend tonight who doesn't like reading blogs becuase she thinks she "isn't talented like all the bloggers are." I'm going to share it! :)

Lindaleestamps said...

I love your blog posts! You make me think and smile and want to try again. Thank you!

Stephanie Melchor said...

!!! You read my blog! That just made my life, Jill. Just for the record, everything you touch IS beautiful. I've told you before that I want to be like you when I grow up.