I don't make brownies every day. I don't sew bow ties or make cute cards or crafts every day. I don't keep my house spotless--as anyone who has ever been to my house can attest. I don't take pictures every day. I am not great at personal finance. I don't eat as many green vegetables as I should. I don't make my bed every day. I should probably read more non-fiction. I waste time. I don't keep the laundry caught up. I call people "idiot" when I'm driving. I make typos and grammatical errors (*gasp*).
I feel like there are all these expectations society has placed on me because I am a wife and a mom and all these aspirations and dreams that I have for myself, but the reality is much different. Mostly I feel like I'm spending my time trying not to be crushed under the weight of it all; like all my failed attempts at goodness are just going to topple over on me and bury me in an avalanche of dirty dishes, forgotten appointments and tardy slips in my boys' take home folders from school.
Some days I'm doing good if I can manage to feed my kids leftovers or cold cereal for dinner and make them go to bed without having a nervous breakdown in the process.
Some days I feel really sad and really alone.
Some days I supervise as little boys fill in the 18" pit the neighbor kids dug in the yard so that we aren't "assessed damages" by the property management.
Some days I have to launder the sheets that I just washed two days ago because I didn't remind a certain little boy to go to the bathroom before going to bed.
Some days I get after my teenager because he isn't nearly as organized and responsible as I would hope (and I don't know how to teach him to become so) and he didn't do something important that I asked him repeatedly to do.
After days like today the best thing for me to do is curl up with a glass of pink milk (or ice cream or chocolate) and escape into a book until I'm ready for sleep and then hope and pray that tomorrow is better.
Chances are it probably will be. And if it isn't? Well then there's always the day after that.